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WELLBEING

A WONDERFUL LIFE

July 22nd, 2010 by Leelja Baur-Davidson

 



 

Michael J. Fox, the incurable optimist

Lisa  Ocker  June 29, 2009

Michael J. Fox seems at peace, even grateful for lessons learned from Parkinson’s disease. He’s inspiring millions with a new book and hit TV special. But his journey has not been easy.

Michael J. Fox’s rock bottom came in the summer of 1992. Passed out on the sofa in his Manhattan apartment, a Coors tallboy toppled onto the rug next to him, he awoke as his 3-year-old climbed on top of him, prodding him to get up. Squinting through his hangover, he could see his wife standing in front of him. He slowly raised his gaze to meet hers.

“Is this what you want? This is what you want to be?” she asked.

Fox’s rock bottom wasn’t close to the tabloid Hollywood versions that end in a broken marriage, a car wrapped around a tree, an embarrassing YouTube video or worse.

Sure, he liked to tie one on with friends, especially before he got married. And with such a quick rise to superstardom—starring in the hit TV show Family Ties just three years after dropping out of high school, followed by the blockbuster Back to the Future trilogy—he had gotten a little lost in what he later described as the Hollywood fun house.

But by Hollywood standards, Fox remained a nice guy, a regular guy who was mindful of his working-class Canadian roots, a star who signed autographs. When he married actress Tracy Pollan, he cut back on his partying. He was a family man who loved his wife and young son more than life itself.

Fox’s drinking habits changed, though, after being diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease in 1991. Unlike his partying bachelor days, there was no pretense of celebration and camaraderie. “Joyless and secretive, I drank to disassociate; drinking was now about isolation and self-medication,” he writes in his 2002 memoir, Lucky Man.

His final binge came after shooting for the movie For Love or Money wrapped earlier than expected one evening. Even though he and his wife had seen little of each other that summer—while he was filming the movie, Tracy was appearing on Broadway—Fox was not inclined to go home. Instead, he figured there was more time for drinking before Tracy expected him. So he and some crew members spent the rest of the night downing margaritas, vodka shots and beer.

For Fox, rock bottom was having disappointed the people he loved most— particularly Tracy.

This is what you want to be? Tracy’s words were painful enough, but Fox writes that what really frightened him were the resignation and disappointment he saw in her face.

On that day, Fox made the choice to give up drinking. It was the first step in a long and difficult road toward taking control of his life. Giving up alcohol was the first instance among many for which he would be grateful to Parkinson’s disease, he later wrote.

In his best-selling memoir, Lucky Man, and the new release, Always Looking Up: The Adventures of an Incurable Optimist, both published by Hyperion, Fox chronicles his journey to the place of gratitude and joy he occupies today. He also shared his insights and explored the nature of positive thinking in an ABC special, Adventures of an Incurable Optimist, watched by 10.2 million viewers, according to Nielsen Media Research.

Fox’s story is poignant, funny. His fame, ironically, makes him more relatable—less the big superstar than someone we really care about, someone we watched grow up as Alex Keaton on Family Ties. But his down-to-earth qualities and his flaws—not the epic Hollywood variety, but the Everyman flaws—make his story and its lessons hit home.

With wit and great insight, Fox shows how easy it is—for all of us—to neglect what’s most precious. Little by little, the Parkinson’s disease that threatened to take everything away became the “gift” that ultimately made him aware of what he stood to lose.

After giving up drinking, there were other challenges, not the least of which was his relationship with Parkinson’s disease. Despite the doctors’ diagnoses and his increasingly violent tremors, Fox was in deep denial. “Bad enough I had allowed P.D. to own me, but by my silence—cutting my wife and family off from the experience—I had made them slaves to it as well,” he writes. It would be early 1994 before he made another appointment with a neurologist and started to take ownership of his disease.

He also had to grapple with his workaholic tendencies. For as long as he could remember, he writes that he possessed a “keep-your-head-down-and-keep-moving mentality.” Even after his early successes brought financial security, he remained obsessed with work and box-office success. Although Tracy encouraged him to be choosy and to take only the roles he really wanted, he rationalized that having a family necessitated his continued work, even if that meant lengthy periods away from home.

“It is one of the great ironies of my life that only when it became virtually impossible for me to keep my body from moving would I find the peace, security and spiritual strength to stand in one place,” Fox writes. “I couldn’t be still until I could—literally—no longer keep still.”

One of the first neurosurgeons he had seen—and rejected— had predicted Fox had a good 10 years left for acting. That was in 1991. By 1996, Fox was settling into the kind of job he had long envisioned—living and working in New York on the hit TV series Spin City. The situation was nearly perfect, he says, but, still, it had its stresses, especially as his disease progressed.

On New Year’s Eve 1999, the Fox family, which by then included twin daughters Schuyler and Aquinnah, was vacationing at St. John in the U.S. Virgin Islands. Snorkeling in the crystalline waters, they spotted a sea turtle. As it glided effortlessly, grazing on sea grasses, Fox continued to swim a respectful distance behind it. He noticed a chunk missing from a flipper and wondered what kind of ordeals the turtle had survived.

When he got out of the water, he had a revelation that he still doesn’t completely understand. He told Tracy he would retire from his hit TV series Spin City. Just like that. Good, she said, and hugged him.


 

INTUITION PART 1

June 30th, 2010 by Leelja Baur-Davidson

Here is something what made me smile – perhaps you like to smile as well…?

AFFIRMATIONS PART 3

June 29th, 2010 by Leelja Baur-Davidson

PART 3


Affirmations are so simple and yet so effective. An affirmation is a statement, often repeated in our heads—that’s it. There isn’t much concentration or focus required. The affirmation’s power, however, lies in its ability to re-shape our thinking and perspective drastically and quickly. Here are 4 ways affirmations can help you

1. Affirmations quiet our ego’s mental chatter

One of the biggest stumbling blocks to many of the difficulties and complexities we face is mental chatter. It is this constant stream of thinking and ideas that distracts us from being able to focus on what we want—be that stillness and serenity or a specific goal. Mental chatter is the voice in the head that screams, “I can’t do it! I can’t do it!” or “I’m ugly. I’m fat.” Affirmations soothe this wailing like a pacifier to a baby. In moments of fear, panic, or anxiety, repeating to yourself, “I can do this! I can do this!” or “I am beautiful. I am attractive,” is incredibly powerful at helping you do an emotional 180.

2. Affirmations can begin to transform our thinking instantaneously

When we are focusing on “I can do this,” instead of nerves and jitters, we have immediately taken control of ourselves. When we are in control, we immediately feel at ease. Sigh! When we feel powerless is when our fears and worries tend to spiral out of control. Instead of focusing on the fear, saying affirmations gives us a new focus. It is the same concept as women doing deep breathing when they are giving birth—it gives them something else to focus on than the pain they are feeling.  A slight change in focus can and does make a world of difference. This tiny little mental trick is a powerful one.

3. Affirmations put us in the driver’s seat

Affirmations can transform our lives by giving us a sense of power and control. Often it doesn’t take much to remind us of how powerful we are. Simply saying, “I am calm. I am cool. I am collected,” before a job interview can take us from nervous to confident in no time.

4. Affirmations can be effective when change is most difficult

True change comes in this manner: first our thoughts, then our words, then our deeds. First we get an idea like, “I’m tired of being overweight.” This gains momentum and turns into saying things like, “I am going to go to the gym 3 times this week.” What follows? Three trips to the gym. The problem arises when our thoughts still want to be couch potatoes. Stating affirmations like, “I go regularly to the gym. I exercise. I workout,” can shape our reluctant thinking. When change seems hardest, that is a sign that one needs to be using affirmations constantly to help change their lagging thinking. As you know, if you hear something often enough, you will start to believe it.

For more information on how to use affirmations to transform your life visit  Transform My Life With Affirmations!

John Assaraf

TEA CULTURE

June 16th, 2010 by Leelja Baur-Davidson


At an organic tea garden in India’s Darjiling region, Camellia sinensis leaves are plucked by hand, as they have been since the British began widespread tea cultivation in the 1830s. Producing around two billion pounds (900 million kilograms) a year, India is the globe’s largest tea grower.

Here is more on tea. My passion for drinking tea led me to research and I found fascinating material I would like to share here from time to time. See for yourself and let me know what you think. It is so inspiring to learn more about the cultures of the world.

Part 1

Indian tea culture

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The cultivation and brewing of tea in India has a long history of applications in traditional systems of medicine and for consumption. The consumption of tea in India was first clearly documented in the Ramayana (750-500 BC). Research shows that tea is indigenous to eastern and northern India, and was cultivated and consumed there for thousands of years. However, commercial production of tea in India did not begin until the arrival of the British East India Company, at which point large tracts of land were converted for mass tea production.

Today, India is one of the largest tea producers in the world, though over 70% of the tea is consumed within India itself. A number of renown teas, such as Darjeeling, also grow exclusively in India. The Indian tea industry has grown to own many global tea brands, and has evolved to one of the most technologically equipped tea industries in the world. Tea production, certification, exportation, and all other facets of the tea trade in India is controlled by the Tea Board of India.

India produces and consumes more tea than any other country in the world, except for China, including the famous Assam tea and Darjeeling tea.

The cultivation and brewing of tea in India has a long history of applications in traditional systems of medicine and for consumption. The consumption of tea in India was first clearly documented in the Ramayana (750-500 BC). For the next 1000 years, documentation of tea in India was lost in history. Records re-emerge during the first century AD, with stories of the Buddhist monks Bodhidharma and Gan Lu, and their involvement with tea.

Research shows that tea is indigenous to eastern and northern India, and was cultivated and consumed there for thousands of years. Commercial production of tea in India did not begin until the arrival of the British East India Company, at which point large tracts of land were converted for mass tea production.

Today, India is one of the largest tea producers in the world, though over 70% of the tea is consumed within India itself. A number of renown teas, such as Darjeeling, also grow exclusively in India. The Indian tea industry has grown to own many global tea brands, and has evolved to one of the most technologically equipped tea industries in the world. Tea production, certification, exportation, and all other facets of the tea trade in India is controlled by the Tea Board of India.

I will continue to write here about tea occasionally. What would you like to find here? Do you have a “Tea Story” you like to share? You are invited to share it here.


TEA OR DISH-WASHING-WATER?

June 7th, 2010 by Leelja Baur-Davidson

Part 1




The other day I was talking to my tribal friend Steve in Canada. You know how it goes we talked first business but after a while we ended up talking about tea.

Have you ever been to a restaurant – assuming you like to drink black tea – and ordered hot tea? What did you expect? What you get usually is a small pot of little more than lukewarm water and a teabag with some black stuff in it. You put that baggy in the teapot and after a while you pour yourself a brownish brew in a cold cup, dropping the temperature even more. Drinking it without any sweetener, milk or lemon is almost impossible because it tastes like heavily used dish-washing-water.

It is so easy to make a great cup of tea just need to know how to do it.

For a good cup of black tea take boiling hot water, pour it over the tea in a strainer or the teabag, and let the tea steep for 3-5 minutes. The longer you steep the tea the more bitterness will be in your cup of tea, and has nothing to do with good flavor. Important is that you move the strainer or the teabag in and out of the water draining the water out several times to get all the antioxidants in your brew.

The flavor of black and green tea depends on many factors. What you usually buy in cheap teabags is ground waste material from the production of higher quality teas.

No matter how expensive the tea you buy,
if you brew it wrong, it’s awful.

This is a lesson many beginners learn the hard way. Most people who claim that they “don’t like the taste” were repelled by an incorrectly brewed tea. This can create a terrible misconception that can last a lifetime… and can also be easily avoepided with better brewing techniques.

Most restaurants, cafés and households that serve tea try to cut corners by simply throwing all teas into the same temperature water and serving visitors without any direction. This makes about as much sense as opening a premium wine bar and serving white wines at room temperature, or opening a prime steakhouse and serving all steaks well done.

Steeping good tea does not take a PhD, but it is also not as simple as chucking it into boiling water and letting it stew. There are easy ways, however, to steep the perfect cup. In fact, there are nearly as many brewing methods as there are teas.

The trick to steeping tea correctly comes in five parts: water, weight, temperature, time and equipment.

So far for today – we will have more on water, weight, temperature, time and equipment next time. There will be an extra post on Green Tea, the science behind it and more. Preparing tea can even be celebrated in a ceremony. Have you ever heard of the Japanese “Tea Ceremony”?

I would love to hear from you, what are your experiences with tea, tea brewing, your tips and tricks.

ROAD BLOCKS TO WEIGHTLOSS

January 15th, 2010 by Leelja Baur-Davidson

There are many possible reasons you aren’t losing weight: can’t lose weight, even though your diet is stellar. Here’s a brief overview of some additional possibilities for you to consider.

Dieting is complex: There are ways to screw up without realizing it. For instance, who would ever think that working out in the a.m. or cranking the AC might be the reason you’re not slimming down? Luckily, once you’ve identified these flubs, fixing them is nowhere near as hard as pulling on a pair of control-top hose.

Roadblock 1: Always a go-getter, you work out at 6 a.m.

What’s wrong with that? – Morning workouts are great — if you go to bed and get at least 7 hours. In a recent study in the American Journal of Epidemiology, women who slept seven or more hours a night were less likely to put on weight than women who didn’t. Those who slept only 6 hours a night were 12 percent more likely to gain substantial weight—33 pounds on average over the course of 16 years! (Women who slept a measly five hours had a 32 percent chance of gaining 30 or more pounds.) Other studies have linked lack of sleep to a higher BMI and have found that it negatively affects levels of the appetite-regulating hormones ghrelin and leptin.

Don’t sacrifice your snooze time – not even for an extra-long run. Quality matters more than quantity, so taking a siesta later won’t help. “In a 20-minute power nap you don’t get into the deep-sleep stage,” says Donna Taliaferro, Ph.D., associate professor of nursing at the University of Missouri-St. Louis, who conducts research on sleep and circadian rhythms. “You need to go through the cycles of sleep over a few hours to get the restorative rest that allows your body to work properly.” Bottom line: You’re better off sleeping through your workout every other day than stumbling to a sunrise Pilates class on too few z’s.

Roadblock 2: You’re a teetotaler (or a sot!).

What’s wrong with that? Alcohol may not be the diet kryptonite you thought it was. Recent research showed that those who have a single drink a couple times a week have a lower risk of becoming obese than either teetotalers or heavy drinkers. Those who consume more than four drinks daily, on the other hand, boost their odds of obesity by 46 percent.

Go ahead and have a drink; just avoid belly-busters like a 245-calorie piña colada. Instead, raise a glass of heart-smart Merlot (123 calories per 5 ounces), Bud Light (110 calories per 12 ounces), champagne (88 calories per 4 ounces), or sake (39 calories per ounce). Or mix a 100-calorie cocktail, like vodka and diet tonic or tequila and club soda. “Just make sure you drink it with some healthy food, such as raw veggies with low-fat dip or whole-wheat pita and hummus,” advises Dawn Jackson Blatner, R.D., a spokesperson for the American Dietetic Association. Eating slows the rise of alcohol in your blood.


Roadblock 3: You crank the AC.

What’s wrong with that? Al Gore wants you to lay off the thermostat to save the planet. Here’s how it can save (the shape of) your own butt, too: In a study published in Physiology & Behavior, researchers found that exposure to temperatures above the “thermoneutral zone” – the artificial climate we create with clothes, heating, or air conditioning decreases our appetite and food intake. “At a slightly uncomfortable 81 degrees, the women in the study experienced a 20 percent decrease in appetite and ate 10 percent less than at 72 degrees,” says lead author Margriet S. Westerterp-Plantenga, Ph.D., a professor of food-intake regulation in the department of human biology at Maastricht University in the Netherlands.

Instead of cranking the air conditioner every time you feel a little warm, learn to endure slightly steamier conditions. Hitting the “off” button is well worth a little discomfort if it helps you lose the saddlebags.


Roadblock 4: You log extra miles on the treadmill to make up for giant meals.

What’s wrong with that? When it comes to dieting, success isn’t 90 percent perspiration. You can’t achieve lasting weight loss via exercise alone. A new study in the Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism found that dieting can shrink your fat zones just as effectively as dieting plus exercise.

If you try the diet-only approach, you need a clear idea of how much you should be eating. Multiply your weight by 10, then add your weight again to that sum: That gives you the number of calories you need to maintain your current weight without activity. For example, 135 pounds x 10 = 1,350 + 135 = 1,485 calories. Eat more than that regularly, and your “loose-fit” pants won’t anymore; eat less, and your muffin top will start melting away. But not so fast—before you burn your gym membership, read on about sarcopenia.

Roadblock 5: You ignore sarcopenia.

What’s wrong with that? Sarcopenia is age-related muscle loss—and it can start in your 30s. If you don’t take action now, you could begin to lose as much as 1 to 2 percent of your muscle mass by the time you hit 50. Less muscle means you burn fewer calories and store more of them as fat.

The key to stopping muscle meltdown is to strengthen your back, shoulders, arms, and thighs. “When you increase lean muscle mass, you burn more calories, even when you’re sitting down doing nothing.Secrets of the Nation’s Top Trainers” and start sculpting at least twice a week. And keep it up after you reach your goal weight: Studies show that if you don’t exercise regularly (60 minutes of moderate physical activity a day), the pounds can creep back on.

Roadblock 6: You’re shooting for a realistic size 6 instead of a near-impossible 2.

What’s wrong with that? We know size 2 jeans look like they were made for a 10-year-old, but, according to a study of 1,801 people published in the International Journal of Obesity, women who set unrealistically high weight-loss goals dropped more weight in 24 months than those who kept their expectations low.

The study authors concluded that having an optimistic goal motivated women to lose more weight. And the participants who failed to reach their magic number did not quit trying to drop the weight. Could aiming for Sienna Miller’s figure really help you reach your goal weight healthfully? “If you’re a driven person and a lofty goal motivates you,” says Blatner, “it can work.”

Roadblock 7: Ever since the recent headlines, you’ve been popping M&Ms like they’re Advil.

What’s wrong with that? You’ve heard the news: Cocoa can lower blood pressure; reduce the risk of heart attack, stroke, diabetes, and dementia; and possibly even prevent cancer. But the research isn’t as delicious as it seems. The cocoa-bean products used in the studies are a far cry from the highly processed chocolate candy you find on the shelves of your local store. “Milk chocolate contains about 150 calories and 10 grams of fat per ounce,” says Campbell.

The key here is small doses. Dark chocolate, which retains more of the bean during processing, generally has slightly less fat and fewer calories than milk chocolate—plus, it’s richer, so less goes a longer way. We like CocoaVia’s Crispy Chocolate Bar (90 calories, 5 g. fat) or Hershey’s Special Dark Chocolate Stick (60 calories, 3.5 g. fat). If dark doesn’t do it for you, opt for low-cal choices such as a half-cup of Breyers French Chocolate Double Churn Fat Free Ice Cream (90 calories, 0 g. fat).

Roadblock 8: You think “water-rich diet” means more trips to the cooler

What’s wrong with that? Water in your glass is good, but water in your food can have serious slimming power. In a new American Journal of Clinical Nutrition study, obese women ages 20 to 60 were told to either reduce their fat intake or increase their intake of water-rich foods, such as fruits and veggies. Although they ate more, women in the water-rich group chose foods that were more filling—yet had fewer calories—so they still lost 33 percent more weight in the first 6 months than the women in the reduced-fat group.

Fill up on food that’s high in H2O. Some good choices in addition to fruits and veggies: broth-based, low-sodium soups; oatmeal and other whole grains; and beans. For other filling options, consult The Volumetrics Eating Plan: Techniques and Recipes for Feeling Full on Fewer Calories, by Barbara Rolls, Ph.D. (Harper Paperbacks, 2007).

Roadblock 9: You give up junk food today but put off joining a gym until January.

What’s wrong with that? Tackling one goal at a time is supposed to help you succeed. But new research published in the Archives of Internal Medicine bucks that conventional wisdom. In a study of more than 200 people who smoked, had high blood pressure, and weren’t extremely active, one group was asked to quit the butts, cut back on dietary sodium, and increase physical activity all at once. Another group addressed one bad habit at a time. The group that tackled all their problems simultaneously had the higher success rate after 18 months.

Combining your goals may work for the same reason job negotiations do: When you ask for everything, you’re more likely to get something. Put this thinking to the test by creating a healthy eating and exercise plan and throwing all your energy into following both.

Roadblock 10: You never think about potassium.

What’s wrong with that? A recent Canadian study concluded that getting more potassium might help lower your weight and blood pressure. Levels measured in study participants were proportional to their diet and weight. “That makes sense,” says Blatner. “The richest sources of potassium are beans, vegetables, and fruit, so the person with high potassium levels is consuming a lot of these foods, which are low in calories and are the most filling.”

You should aim for 4,700 milligrams of potassium each day. Supplements may help you hit that target, but doctors don’t recommend them for everyone. Try filling up on white beans (1 cup: 1,000 mg. potassium), winter squash (1 cup: 494 mg.), spinach (1 cup: 840 mg.), baked potato with skin (926 mg.), yogurt (1 cup: 600 mg.), halibut (4 ounces: 566 mg.), and orange juice (1 cup: 473 mg.).

Sometimes when people diet they do not take into account the actual way to lose weight, some people believe if they eat less they will lose weight, which is not necessarily true, if you do not eat enough or worse nothing then your body is basically saying to itself “I’m not getting any food” so what your body does is store any fluid and food in your body as fat, and this can cause you to become heavier, so make sure your not starving yourself and eat plenty of nutritious food.

Why Diet and Exercise Alone Don’t Work

That’s right, diets alone don’t work. I’m sure you’ve heard that to lose weight, all you need to do is “eat less and exercise more”. Easier said than done. This simplistic approach is a set up for frustration and failure. It ignores the psychological forces necessary to lose and keep the weight off (such as motivation, focus, and commitment). Also ignored are any secondary gains (payoffs/reinforcements) a person may have to keep a poor diet. Examples include food serving as relaxation when stressed, a relationship substitute when lonely, or as stimulation when bored. Have you ever caught yourself using food for any of these reasons? Me too. These factors have upended many a diet. The more powerful the secondary reasons to keep eating poorly, the more the poor eating will continue. Ignoring your mind’s role in weight loss makes the entire process so much more difficult.

Most formal “fad” diets don’t work either. Besides ignoring these same psychological factors, these diets usually promote such a different way of eating that it can be nearly impossible to maintain them. Also problematic are diet pills, powders, and other supplements that attempt to artificially suppress the appetite. I don’t recommend that you buy them. Besides the high, endless costs of buying these special products or foods, your old ways of eating will return as soon as you stop buying the products. Are you really supposed to buy these supplements for the rest of your life? I’m sure these companies would be happy with that. No way. As soon as you stop buying them, your appetite will come back, your old ways of eating come back, and so will the weight.

The “weight loss mindset” you’ll need to lose and keep the weight off includes focus, desire, common sense, self-discipline, commitment, and positive motivation. Of course, getting into this way of thinking is easier said than done. This is where the Dichotics come in. “Clinical hypnosis” (or “hypnotherapy”) is a psychotherapy technique where a subject (like you) incorporates powerful non-conscious tools for change to improve through the power of reinforced suggestion.

A combination dichotics/behavior change program is by far the best and most effective weight loss approach. This, of course, is the format of The Dichotics Weight Loss Mindset. Our mindset and beliefs about weight loss is what either allows us to quickly shed pounds or barely make any progress at all? You may have met people who hold the belief that weight loss is very easy. They have an optimistic outlook on losing weight and the activities required to succeed. Tell me, do these people usually get results or not. I have noticed that they do. Now look at a person who is resentful about having to lose weight and one who takes a negative attitude toward dieting and exercise. They look at it like it’s a burden that they should not have to carry. What kind of results do these people usually get? I have noticed that they are able to go for years without making any serious ground.

This points to something very powerful. Our thoughts and feelings prompt us to take certain actions. If your thoughts are positive they will tell you that dieting is easy and exercise is fun. If they are negative they will resent having to lose weight and will make everything seem overwhelming and difficult. These different thinking patterns will certainly yield different actions and different results. Don’t you think?

The trick is to notice any negative thought that arises and see what it is doing to you. Does it make you want to eat fattening food? Does it tell you to skip your workout routine? Now ask yourself, does this thought have my best interest at heart? The answer will almost always be a resounding no. By asking yourself this question the thought will lose its power to control your actions. You will be free to make your own choices and do as you see fit. This is the beginning of rapid weight loss that feels effortless.

As often as you can, try to notice the thoughts arising in your mind that feel even the slightest bit negative. Look deeply to see what they really bring into your life. This will reveal the truth and make weight loss easy. Start now and results are not far away.

Soon you’ll find here more exercises more information to change these toxic thoughts and patterns.

Feel free to ask questions or comment the post. Let me know what you think, what you may need. Sign up for a free phone session!

Thanks for stopping by.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE?

January 12th, 2010 by Leelja Baur-Davidson


This morning I hit the button on my TV set to check the weather forecast. For some reason I ended up at the MTV channel and a promotion for a series soon to be started here. The title of the series is “THE BURRIED LIFE”. What an odd title I thought and watch for a few moments longer. What was enfolding before my eyes and ears was something brilliant.

The true life story of four regular guys on a mission to complete a list of ’100 Things To Do Before You Die’ and to help and encourage others to go after their own lists.

What Do You Want To Do Before You Die? THE BURIED LIFE

The bewildering question “what do you want to do before you die?” took me to their website The buried life and to signing up for their network.

When you sign-up at The Buried Life -Network
you’re asked right away five questions “what do you want to do before you die?” You even have the chance to submit your list with a 100 things you want to do before you die and if you’re lucky the four will help you to do one of the 100 things on your list.

Ben, Duncan, Dave, and Jonnie set out originally on the mission to complete a list of 100 things to do before you die. Along the journey to do that they begun the help people to reach their goals on their lists. It is so intriguing and contagious what they do. I find myself so encouraged to find 100 things I want to do!

What happens, when you ask yourself the question “What do you want to do before you die?” Do you have answers right away? Write them down on your list. The benefit of doing that – writing down what you want to do is an energy boost, a way to fulfill your dreams. Imagine you complete your list of your first 100 things to do before you die – you can do a second one or more!

How does it impact your life – what would you do? Let’s talk about and share our thoughts. Looking forward to read your comment.


QUESTIONAIRE

January 1st, 2010 by Leelja Baur-Davidson

Yesterday New Year’s Eve 2009 I was listening to the Diane Rehm Show. Wendell Berry was on (you can stream the segment here) to talk about his new book of poetry (Leavings) and climate change, among other things. He read a number of the poems, including the one below. The poem left me behind puzzled and alarmed, stirred up feelings I hardly can find words for – the last verse is even a bit like a punch in the stomach to me wondering what had happened in the last few decades to US.

Questionnaire
(a poem by Wendell Berry)

1. How much poison are you willing
to eat for the success of the free
market and global trade? Please
name your preferred poisons.

2. For the sake of goodness, how much
evil are you willing to do?
Fill in the following blanks
with the names of your favorite
evils and acts of hatred.

3. What sacrifices are you prepared
to make for culture and civilization?
Please list the monuments, shrines,
and works of art you would
most willingly destroy.

4. In the name of patriotism and
the flag, how much of our beloved
land are you willing to desecrate?
List in the following spaces
the mountains, rivers, towns, farms
you could most readily do without.

5. State briefly the ideas, ideals, or hopes,
the energy sources, the kinds of security,
for which you would kill a child.
Name, please, the children whom
you would be willing to kill.

–Wendell Berry

What comes to your mind? What do you think about? How does the poem touch you?

Below is a place where you can leave your comment.

Thanks for stopping by.

BLUE MOON ON DECEMBER 31, 2009

December 27th, 2009 by Leelja Baur-Davidson

From: Sandra Ingerman Author of the Books “SoulRetrieval”, “Medicine for the Earth” and more.

As I wrote in the December Transmutation News we will be experiencing the alignment of the lunar and solar calendars and a rare blue moon on December 31. This will be a potent time.

I have felt compelled to have some focus on this time as a global community. There are thousands of you from around the world who read the Transmutation News and who are on this email list.

I have sat with the question of what would be the best use of our power. There are many challenges the world is facing today. And from a mental and egoic place many of us keep searching for answers and methods that will create change.

And for thousands of years the teachings have been that the greatest power to heal and to transform is love. In How to Thrive in Changing Times I asked you to do some spiritual work around experiencing the love that went into your creation and the creation of the world. For the creator brought through the formless into form through love.

And within this teaching was my answer to what I wanted to ask you to join me in on the blue moon.

On December 31 throughout the day and evening I invite you to join with me to drop into a deep place of unconditional love. This means opening your heart with absolutely no expectations of what will come from this event.

Place your hands on your heart and breathe deeply into your heart feeling the love for the earth, life, and all that is precious to you. Take some time and get into a true place of love that goes beyond your thinking mind.

Start by experiencing love for yourself and all you have been through to get you to this point in life. And when you feel ready expand your heart and allow your love to flow out to our circle throughout the world. Let’s create a strong focused energy of love just simply pulsating throughout our global community.

Remember that you are part of life and that you cannot give love without receiving love. So as you breathe through your heart allowing love to flow through you remember to breathe in the love so that our circle is complete. The earth, our circle, and the rest of life will not receive your love if you cannot receive the love yourself.

And as you feel yourself part of that pulsation of love allow yourself to experience that flow of love going out to the earth and touching every living being. This includes the elements earth, air, water, and fire and all of life that lives in these elements – the spirit that lives in all things.

We do this to be in service to the planet in the same way we have been guided to for thousands of years. Allow yourself to sink into the true power of love that comes from beyond the thinking mind. Allow it to flow from the depths of your soul. This is true service!!

And when you feel the circle is complete and the unconditional love is flowing come back and continue to breathe deeply allowing the flow of love to continue and the flow of love to be received by you. Continue this throughout the day into your New Year’s celebrations.

We give thanks for this circle, we give thanks to all of life, and we give thanks for our life!

Much love to you and blessings for the New Year!

P.S. I am sending this email out a bit early to give those of you who translate my work into other languages time to translate this email. And also for all of you reading this please share this email with other groups you wish to. Let’s invite many to join our circle in love.

TOXIC EMOTIONS

December 26th, 2009 by Leelja Baur-Davidson

Do you want to find out what it’s like to wake up in the morning free of the burden of trying to “manage” your toxic emotions?

If your answer is yes, now is the time to be straight with yourself. It’s time to admit that certain healthy emotions have turned toxic because you have rejected them, judged them, suppressed them, lied about them, or just decided that you would deal with them later.

Just like detoxifying your physical body, it’s not necessarily easy to detox your emotional body. But it is one of the most important things you will ever do.

Facing the toughest emotions — especially the ones that hijack your happiness when you’re unwilling to deal with them — will change your life for the better.

Why are we human beings so often driven to sabotage ourselves and harm each other?  Now is the time to identify the emotions that universally are causing the most personal and collective sufferings when they are hidden and denied long enough.

Although some of these emotions are closely interconnected, each has its own uniquely disastrous impact on our lives.

The Eleven Toxic Emotions

1. Hurt – victimization, helplessness, blame

2. Sadness – self-pity, regret

3. Shame – humiliation, embarrassment

4. Hopelessness – loneliness, despair, desperation

5. Fearanxiety, panic, immobilization

6. Anger – resentment, bitterness

7. Hate – meanness, vengefulness

8. Jealousy – envy, possessiveness

9. Pride – better than, self-righteousness

10. Greed – insatiability, emotional hunger

11. Guilt – self-blame, false responsibility

The following questions will help you identify which emotion is having the biggest impact on the quality of your life and on those around you.

Give yourself permission to be more honest with yourself than you’ve ever been.

A quote from the “I Ching”

It is only when we have the courage
to face things exactly as they are,
without any self-deception or illusion,
that a light will develop out of events,
by which the path to success may be recognized.


Questions to help you identify your toxic emotions

1. Do you think or see yourself as someone who is “guarded”? Do you keep yourself at a safe distance from others? Do you have a persona that “protects” you — such as self-sufficient, intimidating or superior?

2. Do people usually know about the worst thing that ever happened to you – within 10 minutes of meeting you?

3. Are the painful things that happened to you in the past your reason for feeling to be a victim? You don’t have what you want in your life now, right? They keep you from opening up to intimacy with others; does it scare you because it might get out of control?

4. In the privacy of your own heart and mind — despite what you try to project to the outer world — do you actually believe that things won’t get better for you?

5. Do you obsess over what might happen in the future? Are your fears limiting what you’re able to experience with others — from emotional intimacy to doing things together in public?

6. Is there someone in your life whom you openly criticize and berate? Do you say things to a loved one that are harsh and judgmental? If so, what are some of the specific things you say to him or her? Also, do you find that you silently say these same kinds of belittling things to yourself?

7. Do you have frequent eruptions of anger — large or small? Do you find yourself yelling at drivers in their cars while you’re driving, picking fights or being “short” with your partner or children, speaking condescendingly to customer service people, or seething at a co-worker who gets under your skin (and then speaking disparagingly about that person to others)?

8. Do you harbor thoughts and feelings of distrust in your partner, looking for evidence that you’re being lied to?

9. Do you find yourself frequently disagreeing or arguing differing opinions with friends, co-workers and family members?

10. Do you often find yourself comparing yourself to other people and coming out on top?

11. Do you actively look for ways to hurt someone in your life? Do you do things with the intention of sparking jealousy, envy, shame, self-doubt or fear inside of that person?

12. Do you find that no matter how much time, attention or affection your partner gives you, it never feels like enough?

13. Do you feel emotionally and mentally weighed down with responsibilities, and frustrated or angry that you can’t quite fulfill them?

14. Are you using drugs, alcohol or food to mask any unwelcome emotions? If so, what is the first emotion or feeling that comes to mind?

15. Do you work long hours, shop, watch TV or surf the Internet to avoid certain feelings? If so, what is the first emotion or feeling that comes to mind?

16. What is it you most want people to think about you? Of the 11 toxic emotions listed above, which is closest to the opposite of what you want people to think about you?

17. Which of the questions above triggers an emotional hot button for you? Which one makes you cringe or irritates you the most?

How to put your answers to work for you

Each of the behaviors listed in the questions above and the toxic emotions that fuel them (and that we use to justify them) are the result of a wounded ego — an ego that lives and breathes by the certainty that it is separate, alone, and in a constant state of danger. It wraps itself in layer upon layer of negative beliefs and wears a mask, a false persona, to ensure its safety.

There is much that we could explore about the ego and its many faces and functions. But this is one of the most important things I can tell you: The wounded ego isn’t going away. YOUR wounded ego isn’t going away.

Although your hurt ego will try every trick in the book to have you believe otherwise, there is nothing you can do to fix it, kill it, ignore it or bury it. You can’t make it disappear by achieving, earning, educating, marrying, divorcing, dieting or negotiating your way out of it. You can’t manipulate, manage or control it. But you can give it what it actually wants: safety, compassion, kindness, understanding, love, and reconnection with your whole self.  –

Sign up for your free session and let’s talk about how to develop a new relationship with yourself, to heal these wounds and go on with your live as whole and complete self.

When this agonized and desperate part of us begins to feel genuinely safe, we start to allow more good things into our lives: more emotional nourishment, more pleasure, and more peace.

How to free yourself from your most toxic emotions

One way to start breaking free of your harmful emotions is by identifying the one that has the most power in your life — the toxic emotion that most robs you of your self-confidence and self-esteem; the one that keeps happiness and fulfillment always around the next corner.

Pull that ugly and unwanted emotion out of the dungeon and into the light of day. You’ll start to see the natural transformation that occurs when you bring a fresh awareness to a toxic emotion.

I see how well this works in my experience with clients from every walk of life. Energy, confidence and enthusiasm for life return. Self-sabotaging behaviors begin to fade away. People become free and no longer need to be more than they are or less than they are.

Remember this: Either your toxic emotions are using you, or you’re going to use them. For example, you can either allow your suppressed anger to explode and wreak havoc in your life, or you can harness its inherent power to stand up taller and take on a bigger mission in the world.

Reconnect with your highest self and feel good inside. Be ready to take risks even when there will be challenges. Be inspired and inspiring, powerful and empowered, vulnerable and open while knowing how to set boundaries.

I invite you to transform your painful and difficult emotions from enemies into allies, and start clearing the way for exciting new realties to emerge.

Your FREE session only a few clicks away!

Let me know about your thoughts, your approach to the topic – I would love to read your feedback here!

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